Conciseness: Eliminating Redundancies by Solomon Osuokam Ogbeh

 

Understanding Conciseness

Conciseness in writing means expressing ideas clearly and directly without unnecessary words. Eliminating redundancies is crucial to achieving concise writing. Redundancies occur when words or phrases repeat the same idea, making the writing longer and less effective. For example, "He returned back to Lagos" can be shortened to "He returned to Lagos," as "returned" already implies "back."

Identifying Redundancies

Redundancies can take various forms, including repetitive phrases, unnecessary modifiers, and over-explanation. Recognising these forms is the first step towards eliminating them.

1. Repetitive Phrases:

   • Common Redundancy: "Free gift"
   • Concise Version: "Gift"
   • Explanation: Gifts are inherently free, so "free" is redundant.

2. Unnecessary Modifiers:

   • Common Redundancy: "Absolutely essential"
   • Concise Version: "Essential"
   • Explanation: "Essential" already means absolutely necessary, making "absolutely" redundant.

3. Over-Explanation:

   • Common Redundancy: "At this point in time"
   • Concise Version: "Now"
   • Explanation: "Now" sufficiently conveys the meaning without the extra words.

Strategies for Eliminating Redundancies

1. Revise for Clarity:

   • Read through your writing and identify any words or phrases that repeat the same idea.
   • For example, "Chinedu climbed up the hill" can be revised to "Chinedu climbed the hill," as "climbed" implies "up."

2. Simplify Expressions:

   • Replace lengthy expressions with simpler, more direct words.
   • For example, "Due to the fact that" can be simplified to "Because."

3. Avoid Unnecessary Details:

   • Focus on the main idea and avoid including information that does not add value.
   • For example, "In my personal opinion, I think that" can be shortened to "I think."

4. Use Strong Verbs:

   • Choose specific and powerful verbs to replace verb phrases.
   • For example, "Make a decision" can be replaced with "Decide."

5. Edit Ruthlessly:

   • After writing, go back and edit your work to remove any redundant words or phrases.
   • For example, "The reason why Amaka left is because she was tired" can be edited to "Amaka left because she was tired."

Examples of Eliminating Redundancies

Consider the following examples with Nigerian names:

1. Original: "Ngozi woke up early in the morning to catch the first bus."

   • Concise: "Ngozi woke up early to catch the first bus."
   • Explanation: "In the morning" is redundant because "early" implies morning.

2. Original: "Adebayo and his friends planned to meet together at the park."

   • Concise: "Adebayo and his friends planned to meet at the park."
   • Explanation: "Together" is redundant because "meet" implies gathering together.

3. Original: "Folake received an unexpected surprise gift from her brother."

   • Concise: "Folake received a surprise gift from her brother."
   • Explanation: "Unexpected" is redundant because "surprise" already conveys the unexpected nature.

4. Original: "Emeka had a total of twenty books in his bag."

   • Concise: "Emeka had twenty books in his bag."
   • Explanation: "A total of" is redundant because "twenty" is already a specific number.

Exercise: Eliminating Redundancies

Read the following sentences and identify the redundancies. Rewrite each sentence to make it more concise.

1. "Ade sat down on the chair to rest for a brief moment."
2. "Kemi entered into the room quietly so as not to wake the baby."
3. "The team collaborated together on the project to ensure its success."
4. "During the month of December, the weather in Abuja is usually cold in temperature."
5. "Bola's story about her journey to the village was very interesting and captivating."

Eliminating redundancies is a key skill in writing that enhances clarity and readability. By practising conciseness, you can make your writing more effective and engaging.